Rabbits, Wild Horses, and a Raptor

Carried Away

Today, I’ll attempt to reveal a bit about my brain and what’s in it. It’s a little personal, so I hope you don’t mind this bit of navel-gazing.

As a teacher, I was always highly focused on helping my students succeed, and, though there were many creative ways to go about that, I always had to stay within certain boundaries based on requirements, best practices, time/space limitations, and parent expectations. And, that was fine. I enjoyed the challenge of working within those parameters. It kept me on the “straight and narrow.”

But all my life, I’ve had this creative urge that has been waiting to be set free. Now in retirement and approaching age 75, I can certainly do whatever I want with my time, but the awareness of “time marching on” creates a bit of pressure that has me tossing and turning.

RABBITS

Some time ago, I posted about “rabbit trails”. I used that expression to describe the way my thoughts went from one topic to another, randomly, with no particular destination in mind. It wasn’t too hard to explain because I was only looking at one topic at a time.

An ESL teacher with a blog called And Today’s Idiom Is… says of “rabbit trails”:

“You know how sometimes a discussion can go off on a crazy tangent, make lots of crazy turns?  You don't know where it's going, and you don't know how you got there?  Your discussion has gone down a Rabbit Trail.”

WILD HORSES

Today, I felt like I was trying to capture wild horses, not chase a rabbit. Those horses were running through my mind—every one of them big and beautiful, fast and free. They were a metaphor for the disconnected thoughts about all the things I want to do, and they were all running past me at once. How in the world could I capture them all?

• Publishing genealogy books I’ve already written

• Publishing interviews with people (including some of my subscribers) on topics relevant to Southern WV Settlers

• Doing podcasts for kids of me reading books about West Virginia and including pdf suggestions for teachers or homeschoolers

• Writing my planned masterpiece about Anderson, Louisa, and the Kanawha Belle

• Designing paper dolls and scenery based on the lives of my grandma and her sister

• Designing Southern WV Settlers items for my “store”

• Creating a Southern WV Settlers calendar

• Recording songs about WV (I have a musical family)

• Developing WV curriculum materials, including a monthly print newsletter for elementary students

• Developing a website for kids with interactive lessons about WV history

• Put true tales in comic book form for kids

• Make a hymnbook of songs that were sung in early churches

• Design a curriculum for kids to teach skills needed for genealogical research: how to read and interpret census records, how to distinguish primary and secondary sources, how to read ship passenger lists, etc.

• Write one or more books about genealogy such as a collection of essays on different but related topics or an anthology of writing by different researchers.

The thought of trying to capture all those horses wore me out. I attempted to take notes—to write everything down—but got overwhelmed. I was exhausted trying to decide which ones to capture and which ones to let go. Finally, I was such a nervous wreck, I decided I’d better take a nap.

THE RAPTOR

I did manage to sleep, but I had a vivid dream of a raptor flying over New River. The raptor had captured a small mammal—not for food—but for companionship. I was watching this happen; I was not actually the mammal. However, I do think that little creature represented me being carried away to dwell on the mountainside with that raptor. The raptor was in charge; there was no way to escape. Destiny was fixed.

I don’t think that means I’m moving there, but I certainly feel like I am captivated by the Southern West Virginia region and by the history.

NOW WHAT?

All of the above has helped clear my mind a little. I decided I needed to “map” my ideas, so I went to Family Dollar and bought a big poster that I’ll put on the wall and use to create a graphic organizer of all the things I want to do. Honestly, I am not doing it for other people, but I do hope that what I do benefits others in some way. Right now I identify with Mozart or Van Gogh—totally absorbed and consumed—possessed. Some might call that mania or mental illness. I don’t know, but I’ll keep going and see where it all leads.